There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
