if you like me you must not know who I am
grandma shit on top of the toilet
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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