I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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