WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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