i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
