Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
