fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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