me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
