shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
