Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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