I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
