I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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