The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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