worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
