I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
