We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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