I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
