Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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