who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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