yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
