You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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