is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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