I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize