So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
