I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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