Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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