I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
