he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
