New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
