with your own penis?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
