I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
