yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
