I just made out with a guy for $7.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
