I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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