I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My pussy is not your playground.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you inspire me to be a worse person
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
