Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
