and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
