he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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