Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
