I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My feet surprised me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
