Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
