Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
