So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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