It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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