i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
