the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
