oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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