Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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