Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
now i know why i became what i already was.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
