I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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