i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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