Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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