bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it hurts more in the daytime
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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