The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
