hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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