do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
