so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
