I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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